Dear D-Anne,

I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain it leaves with you. The wounds are deep and need much time to heal. Death takes our very identity and it seems to take forever to find a new one and be at home in it.

I’m afraid we live in a culture that has not learned how to respond to the grief of our friends. That was true for me both before and after I became a widow. Before, I just didn’t get it. Now, I know the pain, yet struggle to find consoling words.

I’m glad you love to write and encourage you to keep writing your heart out - for the healing it can bring. That is my story anyway. Elderly and at a loss when widowed four years ago, I turned to my old writing hobby, poured my thoughts, questions and confusion into my journal - I think writing saved my life and has transformed my grief to purpose, even joy. May you too, find peace. -JoMae